Welcome back to another empowering episode đź’›
In this episode, I have the pleasure of speaking with Tory Archbold, a powerhouse businesswoman and the brilliant mind behind Powerful Steps, the popular podcast 'Powerful Stories,' and the renowned brand communications agency Torstar.
With over 24 years of experience in brand building, public relations, digital media, and events, Tory has worked with some of the world’s most influential celebrities, entrepreneurs, and CEOs.
Tory’s journey is a testament to the power of authenticity, self-belief, and resilience.
She shares her transformative principles for success in building entrepreneurial empires, emphasizing the importance of trusting your intuition and stepping into your power.
In our conversation, you'll discover how she overcame personal and professional obstacles, turning challenges into stepping stones for growth.
Key takeaways include:
- The significance of self-belief and how to cultivate it.
- The transformative power of journaling and personal reflection.
- Strategies for building and maintaining authentic connections.
- Insights into balancing professional success with personal well-being.
Join us as Tory shares her wisdom and practical advice, inspiring you to unleash your life purpose and become a magnet for miracles.
As always, I’d LOVE to hear what resonates with you from this episode and what you plan to implement after listening in. So please share and let’s keep the conversation going in theDream Life Podcast Facebook Grouphere.
Have a wonderful weekend… and remember, it all starts with a dream 💛
Enjoy!
Dream Life Founder
SHOW NOTES:
- Join our Power of Connection& Journaling breakfast eventhosted by Tory & I. Link for Sydney. Link for Melbourne.
- Tory's book Self-Belief is Your Superpower.
- JoinmyPlatinumCoaching Program- where in July the focus is on going deep intoFinancial Freedom.Learn more here.
- Join my virtual book clubGROWfor July where we'll meet weekly on Zoom to discuss and squeeze the learnings from this brilliant book,'A Happy Pocket Full of Money'byDavid Cameron Gikandi.Learn more here..
- If you're interested in joining us at the amazingSHE EVOLVES RETREATin beautifulByron Bay, you canfind more information here...If you decide it's for you, use my speaking discount code to get a $250 discount: KKARLSSON
- Learn more& registerherefor ourRECONNECT TO YOU Retreat.
🌿 Experience the joy of a wonderful retreat, while learning how to run your own personal solo retreats 🌿 - Learn more& registerherefor ourFIJI REINVENT YOU RETREAT. Embark on a transformative journey guided by Kristina Karlsson, Sarah Pirie-Nally, Nicole Hatherly, and Shaynna Blaze.
- Join myHabit Cluband get support and accountability as you focus on changing the building blocks of your life - your daily habits.Learn more here…
- Plan Your Year journal
- Daily Progress Journal
- Daily Wins Journal
RESOURCES:
- Sign up to our email list hereto hear about upcoming workshops.
- Join our Habit Club. It's easy to start a new habit, but harder to make it stick! Get the inspiration and support network you need to successfully build new habits into your life.
- Take your first step to getting clarity on what you want from life with this free bonus dreaming exercise here101 Dreams Audio Guide
- Buy Kristina's book,Your Dream Life Starts Here
TRANSCRIPT:
Hi There and welcome back to another episode.
Today I have another inspiring guest. My guest today is Tory Archbold, a powerhouse businesswoman, CEO and Founder of Powerful Steps, host of the popular podcast 'Powerful Stories,' and the founder of the brand and communications agency Torstar.
With over 24 years of experience in brand building, public relations, digital media, and events, Tory has worked with some of the world’s most influential celebrities, entrepreneurs, and CEOs.
What sets Tory apart is her authenticity and genuine care for others, which has helped her build long-lasting connections. We met recently at one of Tory’s events, and I just love how she sees life and loved her book 'STEP INTO YOUR POWER' that we will be reading in my book club GROW in September 2024. I love this book, and this is a book to read if you are in a career you never wanted, if you feel disconnected from yourself, or if you are at a crossroads in life and feeling unsure. 'Self-Belief is Your Superpower' is the book for you. Combining entrepreneurial and personal development, this book takes a holistic approach to success, ensuring you emerge as a truly powerful woman.
In today's episode and in her book, Tory Archbold shares her proven principles for success in building entrepreneurial empires. She also shares how trusting your intuition and stepping into your power can break you free of judgment, ignite self-belief, and finally attract the richness you deserve!
Tory Archbold is one of the most powerful and connected women in Australia, but she wasn’t always. With hustle, instincts, heart, and kinship, she found her life purpose and success at home and work. Today, Tory is sharing her wisdom with us. She will also do a Q&A with us in GROW in September when we have read her book. Tory and I are also doing two breakfast events together in August 2024.
These events are to connect like-minded people who are interested in heart-led living, leadership, wellness, and financial empowerment. The theme of the breakfast is around leveraging the power of connection and demonstrating how the simple practice of connecting with yourself via journaling can have a massive positive impact on your professional and personal life.
I will link to it in the show notes.
Kristina: All right, hi Tory and welcome to our podcast! I am so excited to have you.
Tory: So am I, Kristina, and I'm even more excited because I got to meet you in person through the power of a coffee date, and now we can share our wisdom on your magical podcast.
Kristina: I love it, and we're obviously going to talk about the coffee dates in a minute, but before we get into all the amazing things that we're going to talk about today, I love to ask you: Did you have a dream as a child, something you wanted to do or become or have?
Tory: Such a good question because I feel in my childhood I was boxed and conditioned to live a certain life, and I chose to jump out of that box and create my own destiny. So it's a bit of a juxtaposition in terms of the answer. So I'm going to go with why I backed myself into what I wanted to become. That actually started by being fired from a job and growing.
Tory: I don't write about this in the book, but going to Bali was actually my saving grace. I bought a yellow journal, which I still have today, and I remember I booked myself on this trip for two weeks. I literally journaled and journaled and journaled, and the outcome of that journal actually created my first business, Torstar, because what I clearly wanted to do was attract the world's top-performing brands, celebrities, and influencers. I wanted to work in media, and I wanted to work with meaning and purpose. I wanted to create and build powerful brands. The reason why was I fell in love with storytelling when I was a teenager and then went to London on a working holiday visa. I really got into the nitty-gritty of people's stories and wanted to learn more about them. I could apply that wisdom and insight that I was getting from other people's stories into products, services, and people. So in answer to the question, I think it came to me because I spent the time on my own really journaling and understanding what my gift to the world was. Once you discover what that gift is versus what people think you should do, you need to work on what you can create and build authentically. That's where it landed.
Kristina: I love that. I want to dig in a little bit more about journaling because having read your book, I realized that we share that passion for journaling. I want to come back to that in a minute, but before we get really started talking about your amazing book, I'd love for you to just share a little bit about your journey because we have an international listenership on this podcast, so people might not know you yet. They will after this. So I'd love for you to share a little bit of your journey, and then we'll get into talking more specifically about all the wisdom in your book.
Tory: When I arrived back from Bali into Australia, I decided to back myself and start my own business at age 24. I had this idea that I wanted to create a brand communications agency. I had no media connections. I didn't even know how to write a press release. But I thought to myself, if I back my big ideas, dreams, and ambitions, and learn along the way, maybe I can make a difference. I ended up creating this agency called Torstar. I ended up with 22 staff, 10 freelancers, and we actually did end up attracting the world's top-performing brands, celebrities, and influencers into my orbit. Torstar became one of the top brand communications agencies in Australia. We're most recognized for the launch of Zara into our market, which they say was the most successful retail launch for their brand in the world.
Tory: It's a billion-dollar brand. They wanted to enter this market. How did they find me? Through the power of advocacy and connection. We had 22,000 people through on the day of launch. We did a million dollars worth of sales. It was the most magnetic launch to be involved in because both my brand, Torstar, and the Zara brand were anchored to passion. We're both passionate about the customer experience, what we could create in this market. Integrity was really important for both of our brands to be involved in something that would actually change the dynamics of Australian retail and the way that people shopped here. It was the biggest opportunity for fast fashion to come into this market. Suddenly, clothes that people saw on runways were accessible to the everyday consumer. We didn't have that before Zara came here. Delivery – you're only as good as the last customer experience or the way someone talks about you.
Tory: Off the back of that launch, I was very lucky. I attracted many more global brands, which we launched into this market. The last three I launched into Australia were Victoria's Secret, Steve Madden, and Drew Barrymore's Flower Beauty. Like a lot of women who go on that entrepreneurial journey, I had several game-changing moments. When I turned 44, I had to decide where I wanted to go with my life. Rather than selling my business to a global media company, I decided to back myself and shut it. I didn’t receive a cent. Instead, I found jobs for all those loyal team members. I then created Powerful Steps, which empowers people at that transformational phase of their life to really look at their story, own the good, the bad, and the ugly, understand their true power, and step into their passion and purpose for the next stage of their life. I always say my first journey with Torstar taught me so much, but those learnings have made me so happy today. They created the runway for me to back myself again and create a business that has meaning and purpose and advocates for others around the world.
Kristina: I love your journey, and there’s so much more to it because you had your challenges and ups and downs like all of us. We will dig a little deeper into that as well. I came across you through an event you invited me to, which was amazing. We connected and realized we had so much in common. Then I read your book in preparation for this, and I felt like we had even more in common. I wanted to ask you first, what made you write this book? The book is all about self-belief, and the title is 'Self-Belief is Your Superpower: Unleash Your Life Purpose, Own Your Power, Become a Magnet for Miracles.' I love the title and self-belief. I want to talk about that in a minute, but first, what made you actually write the book?
Tory: My intuition and my gut instinct. I knew before I shut my agency, Torstar, that I was going to birth a new journey. I've always believed in the secret whispers of life. When you surrender to the process and trust it, the right doors open at the right time. For me, that transformational stage in my life was getting clear on the people I wanted to surround myself with, including family, friends, brands, and partnerships. I knew I was going to birth it before I birthed it. I started asking people in my circle, “I think I’m going to shut my business and start another one.” They all thought I was completely crazy. I’d been single for 12 years due to my circ*mstances as a single mom. We’ll talk about that later in the podcast. I remember when I started dating, I said I was going to shut my business, start another one, and write a book. These men I was dating would say, “Why would you do that?” Then I went on this date with my husband-to-be, and he said, “I think that’s a great idea.” I think what I was waiting for was someone to really back me and be on that next journey with me. There’s one thing to have a business, but it’s another thing to close your main income, which was a multimillion-dollar business. I had to back myself with self-belief to start again. I didn’t actually write that book until I was two years into the business. I actually wrote it in two weeks, Kristina, because in my heart, mind, and spirit, the words were already written. I just had to make the time to put my fingers to the keyboard and make it happen.
Kristina: I love that because I wrote my book really quickly as well. Then I handed it over to Paul, who piloted it in a much better way, and then we had an editor. It was interesting because a lot of people, when I said I was going to do it within three months, my team thought it was crazy. No one does that. I said, when you make a decision to write a book and you know what you want to write about, it doesn’t matter what the length is. For people who take two years, it’s just that they don’t necessarily work more on the book. They just take longer, perhaps thinking in between, and that’s fine for some people. But I decided to do it really quickly. It’s good to hear that because a lot of people really challenged me on that. I said, anyone can write a book in three months if you put in the hours and the work and have an idea of what you want to write about. The book, as you said, was already written. I think that was the same for me.
Tory: When you know in your heart of hearts what you want to birth, it’s there. I already know what my second book will be. It’s about creating the time and space to do that. I want to say as well that the last chapter was a struggle because I was looking for the sign. My sign is always when major transformation is coming, and it’s always the sign of the butterfly. When the butterfly appears, I look at the sequences around it. There was a sequence of events I talked about in the last chapter that brought it full circle. This is what it’s meant to be, and it gives people hope. While I did it in a short period of time, there was a process of editing and making sure everything was right. It’s important to show people the closure. What can you get from a book? What can you birth? What can you take away?
Kristina: Yeah, in my coaching program, I encourage everyone to write a book one day, regardless of whether they publish it or self-publish. They don’t even have to show it to the world, but it’s an amazing process. It’s also a bit of a self-discovery journey. I loved it because I felt like I had so much to share. My book was so much longer, and it had to be cut short. I feel like I have multiple books in me when I get to it. It’s a nice process. It’s a hard process, but it’s also a fun process. One of the themes for my coaching program this year is how to write a book because I think all of us have so much to share and to give. I love that. I might get you back to talk about that. I want to talk now about your book. You start with saying, "A happy heart is a magnet for miracles." The power of those words transformed your life. Tell us about that.
Tory: That came after a near-death experience. I was an ultimate people pleaser, running a global business, single mom. Quite unexpectedly, I was due on a flight to London to host a big media event for a retailer. People were flying in from around the world. I could feel my body start to die, but I wasn’t listening to the signs because everyone wanted things from me, and I was putting everyone else first. I ended up unexpectedly having my appendix burst. I was locked in my house. My daughter was with a friend. I was very lucky because an ex-boyfriend of mine had come to Sydney, and his dad was a surgeon. I felt my appendix burst at home and felt the poison go through my body. I’d never been to the hospital except to give birth, so I knew something was terribly wrong. I couldn’t dial triple zero on my phone because my daughter had changed the code. I had to wait until someone called me, which was about an hour sitting at home with this poison in my body. They came, and I got rushed to the hospital. I got revived a couple of times on the way and was operated on at 2 am. I lost eight kilos in five days and ended up with septicemia. It was a long road back to good health. After 12 rounds of antibiotics, a surgeon operated on me. He said I’d never get better. I was struggling because he gave me a six-month recovery, but it was going to be three or four years. He said, "I know what your problem is." I asked what it was, and he said, "You’re not happy." He wrote, "A happy heart is a magnet for miracles." He said, "I’m not giving you any more antibiotics. You need to go away and learn how to be happy." That changed my life. A happy heart is a magnet for miracles.
Kristina: Wow, everything changed from that. From a medical doctor, that’s rare.
Tory: Very rare. In an emergency, there’s no private health or anything. I went through the public system even though I had private health. He ended up being the best in his field that operated on me at 2 am. I always say it was a gift from above. It was meant to happen. Those words of wisdom transformed my life. He said, "Look at who the takers are in your life. Who’s giving back to you? Strip out what you don’t need in terms of people, community. Halve your business if you need to, but get clear again on your values, intent, and purpose. Otherwise, you’re going to die." I took that advice and changed my whole life. I stepped into my power and wrote a list of all the things blocking my energy and recovery. From there, I took small steps which then became more powerful steps. I showed up for myself. I wasn’t afraid to make calls and get rid of people that weren’t meant to be there so that the right people could come into my life. That quote is powerful. I share it a lot with our community and podcasts. When you focus on happiness, happiness breeds happiness. Happiness also comes from gratitude. What are we grateful for right now? How can we help others? But most importantly, how can we learn to receive? Life is not a one-way street. It’s a mutual exchange of energy.
Kristina: I love that. That’s an amazing story. Taking that quote and working on it will be incredible for everyone listening. You also say, "The power of possibility becomes clear when you understand the power of self-belief." I love that because, in my coaching program, the number one thing I see is self-doubt and worry about what others think. They go hand in hand. I’d love for you to share how people can start believing in themselves. When people share their dreams, I’m excited, but I can see they don’t believe it themselves. I haven’t seen a dream that isn’t possible. It often takes a shift in believing in themselves. How do you suggest going about that?
Tory: When we own the power of our own story, we anchor to our truth. When we anchor to our truth, we become fearless. When we become fearless, we’re not afraid of judgment or stepping forward. We’re not afraid of what others think. It becomes irrelevant. I created a five-point story frameworkthat anyone can do. It’s a free download on our website, powerful-steps.com. Open a Google doc and be honest and truthful. Dig deep. A lot of people don’t want to write things down, but if you don’t, you’re not opening your heart to possibilities. The first part is who you were when you grew up. I’m the eldest of four girls. My parents had a war-of-the-roses divorce. To this day, they still hate each other. That’s the environment I grew up in. The second part is who you were when you wanted to leave school. What did you want to become? My parents wanted me to be an interior designer so I could decorate a beautiful home, have three children, join a few clubs, and tick their boxes. I jumped out of that box.
Part two of my story is backing myself. I went overseas, did the working holiday visa, worked with the best in media and entertainment, and fell in love with storytelling. This led to the third part: the pinnacle of my career. I created a business at 24, attracted the best, built a team, and built a global multimillion-dollar business. But at the top of your game, what’s really going on? What’s that game-changing moment?
The kick from the universe that says maybe this isn’t it. Maybe you’re not anchored to your truth. I wasn’t. Behind the scenes, I was a single mom, stalked, harassed, intimidated by an ex. I was one of the first in New South Wales to get an AVO for that harassment. I was in and out of the family law courts until I stood in my power in 2013 when I almost lost my life with septicemia. My appendix burst. The happy heart is a magnet for miracles. It was like, "Hello, world, what do you want to do?"
You’ve got to step into your power and break these patterns. Is this who you want to become? Is this your legacy? To the outside world, I was a glamorous PR powerhouse, but I was broken inside. In that five-point story, I write about how I felt. What were those feelings? How did I start breaking those patterns and gently removing what wasn’t serving me to create space for the next journey? This gets you to part five of the story, which is pure freedom. I win full custody, have a restraining order, get the keys to freedom.
At 44, I decide the PR company is no longer for me. I stand in my power. I don’t care what people think. I start a new business, Powerful Steps. That’s how you own your story and stand in your power. It gives you the ability to dream big. I can show up and be myself because I’m not afraid of what others think. It’s about self-love, self-care, putting yourself at the top of the list.
If I can do that each day, I can give more to others, creating a ripple effect around the world in helping others find their passion, purpose, and destiny.
Kristina: I love that. We’re so aligned. Thank you for sharing that. It was beautiful. I couldn’t agree more.
What you think about yourself is more important than what anyone else thinks because you can’t control what they think. No one will think the same. Some will find a podcast like this inspiring, and some won’t. I can either listen to those who don’t and not do my podcast, or create it for those who find it inspiring. That’s probably fifty-fifty in the world. I choose to go with what I find inspiring and those who do, versus focusing on those who don’t. It’s more important to do what you love versus worrying about what others think.
No one will think exactly the same, so you might as well do it for you.
Tory: Correct. It goes back to quality over quantity. We’ve discussed this with coffee dating. Don’t worry about followers, worry about the impact. You could have 50 people looking at your Instagram story, and if 5 take positive action, that’s a win. You can pay for an influencer, but if they’re not aligned with your brand, will you get the impact you desire?
Highly unlikely. It’s pay to play. If you anchor it to "it doesn’t matter about followers, it matters about the right people coming to me in the right timing," and believe that a happy heart is a magnet for miracles, you can attract, magnetize, and create impact by surrendering and trusting the process.
It takes a lot of inner work to get to that point. To be in your power is to trust yourself, back yourself, and believe in yourself. When times get tough, don’t waver. There’s always an out. We might be at 75% of seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.
One of my amazing mentors in the US said, "When am I going to get to 100%?" She said, "Not until you learn the lesson." So, go back to that next story and ask, "What’s holding me back?" Nail that block because once you do, those lessons keep coming to you. It’s like whoosh, whoosh, the light is coming through.
Then you get to the other side, and your whole life opens up. That’s the best feeling in the world.
Kristina: Yeah, I love that. Both of us have started a second chapter in our lives. When you started your second chapter, you made a promise to yourself: "I will attract those who operate at high vibration." Tell us about that. I was really inspired by that.
I didn’t say it in those amazing words, but basically, I only want to be around inspiring people. Having had a big global business, I didn’t always work with people I loved. When you have a big business, you don’t always recruit everyone. Sometimes you get it wrong. I am so clear on that now.
I’d love for you to share that and what is it about having a high vibration and how did that go for you?
Tory: I worked with an energy healer for a couple of years before I shut my business Torstar and created Powerful Steps. One of the things we worked on was that the women who would come into my Powerful Steps community would be at this level. They’ve already had great success.
You are my ultimate client, Kristina. You’ve had incredible success, and then you ask, "How do I get to the next level?" If you only put out that you’re attracting that kind of woman and show that woman how she can do it and why she’s doing it, you create advocacy not only for her business but also for your business. You’ve got a runway and a pipeline of building a high vibrational community. I get women in at this level, and they leave at that level.
When they go down a little bit, because everyone does as you go through ebbs and flows in your business, they come back and say, "Take me higher," and I say, "Of course." You’re putting a stake in the ground and saying, "These are my people."
Then you become clear on the BS that comes your way. You don’t have to say yes to something that doesn’t feel right. Earlier in business, you might hire the wrong people because others are hiring. I’ve gone through that as well. People made mistakes in my business that I didn’t hire, but I had to be accountable for them because it was my business.
Round two for both of us is clear about who we want to work with and what we want to gift the world. We’re in our truth. We’ve experienced the good, the bad, and the ugly. We know what our gift is to the world and can be raw and authentic, magnetize, and attract opportunities with like-minded people to make a difference. In a nutshell, that high vibration is you have the opportunity to walk into a room anywhere in the world, light it up, and people want to get to know you, meet you, connect with you, partner with you, and collaborate with you because they understand who you are and want to be around that magnetic energy.
It’s simple, but you can only get that if you own your story. That’s why we developed the five-point story framework because unless you do the inner work, you can’t do the outer work. It doesn’t mesh.
Kristina: I absolutely love that. I also love sharing a story where we are starting again because many people in business find it hard to see the way out when they’re in the middle of it. Especially if you have a global business, a multimillion-dollar business, a big team, and lots of exciting work. It’s hard to get out of that when you’re in the middle of it. It’s good for people to hear that you can start again and do it better.
I did it in a very unfun way. You did it better, but I learned so much through that process. The silver linings become apparent later when you go through something like I did. Thank you for sharing that because it will inspire many people, not just with their businesses but also with a second career later in life.
The people I meet most are lawyers who are not happy because they were so clever at school and good at what they did, but they don’t love their job. Some love it, but some don’t.
They are clever and can do anything. They just went on a path that wasn’t right for them. Starting again is exciting because you have much more experience, which helps.
Tory: When you start again, the things you aspired for in your twenties, like the first Chanel handbag or amazing shoes, don’t matter as much. In your thirties, you get life experiences. In your forties, you get game-changing moments. As you step into your fifties, you realize you don’t need much to be happy. It’s a lesson you have to learn.
Everyone aspires for more than what they have. The ones who understand that it’s not about what you have on the outside but what you have on the inside that makes happiness are the most powerful people and the leaders of the next generation.
Kristina: I agree. One thing I realize is that I traveled a lot with my previous business, but it was always with so many meetings. I was sometimes in New York, sitting in meetings back home. Now, when I travel, I don’t have meetings unless necessary.
When I’m there, I want to be 100% there. I still do my coaching every week. Last year, I was in Croatia, and my friends were out on boats. I was working with the most amazing view. They asked if I was coming, and I said no, I was going to sit there and work.
They said, "Poor thing," and I said, "No, I love this." I love my previous business, but I love this one even more because it aligns with my values of personal growth and helping people live their dream life.
When we live our dream life and share that, people can see what their dream life could look like.
Tory: Lead by example. I love what you said about back-to-back meetings and being present. I used to fly to New York a lot for business, staying in hotels, doing parties, media interviews. People thought New York was amazing, but I wasn’t really in the heartbeat of it.
Last year, when we launched my book, my husband came with me to New York. We walked 25,000 steps every day for ten days. I went around in my active gear. I had a dinner with my friend Ken Downing, who was the creative director of Neiman Marcus and is now with Halston.
My husband asked if I was getting changed to see Ken, and I said no. Ken just wants to be with me, and I just want to be with Ken. I realized how far I’d come.
I was present in the moment in New York, and I was present and in the moment with myself. We had an amazing night together. It wasn’t about the outfits and where we were, it was about company and being in the moment. For anyone running from meeting to meeting in different cities, be present.
Kristina: Absolutely. The opportunities now to work and travel make me so excited. The silver linings of COVID are that you can work and travel as an employee or business owner.
We live in Sweden in the European summer. We’ve always done that, but it was always working with the Australian time zone. Now, I can do that differently. When you do something you love, it’s not work.
Yesterday, I had to prepare for this podcast, and I thought I was lucky to call this work. I love it. That’s why it’s important to do what you’re passionate about.
Purpose can be a big, scary word, and many feel lost in that. Can you give some tips for finding purpose?
Tory: It does lead back to your story and understanding your superpower. You won’t understand your superpower unless you understand your passion. Look at your story and where you were most happy. T
hat’s where your purpose leads you. In my first twenty years at Torstar, I was happy creating and building other people's brands until I wasn’t. Then I asked myself, "What if I switch it and create and build my own personal brand?" I recognized I could do that.
My purpose came from my life journey, from reading Enid Blyton books to Jackie Collins. The thread of storytelling was throughout my life. I’d done it for others and myself.
Finding my purpose came from my story. I realized I could do it for others in a more meaningful way with freedom in my heart. Finding your purpose is about understanding who you are and what lights you up.
It’s not worrying about what others think and just doing what makes you happy.
Kristina: Yeah, absolutely love that. We are lucky to find our purpose, but that’s what we want for others, which is why we met.
You talk in the book about trusting the process. How do you do that when dealing with self-doubt? How do you trust the process when unsure about your journey ahead?
Sometimes you have to take a leap and might end up on the wrong path, which is frustrating but comes with amazing learnings.
Tory: There’s never a wrong path because it leads to lessons, and lessons lead to growth. It’s about surrendering to the process, being present, and opening up to doors opening for you and shutting for you.
I let my team run everything before I shut Torstar and created Powerful Steps. One morning, we were launching Kate Spade into Australia. My team said I needed to come because some senior people were flying in. I showed up and had a side chat with a senior leader.
She asked who I was, and I said, "I’m Tory. It’s my agency you’re working with." We talked about other brands she was launching into Australia, including Victoria’s Secret. At that point, it was pre-Jeffrey Epstein. I wanted to work with this brand and be at the New York show. I asked her when they were launching, and she said in six weeks. I asked if they had an agency, and she said they did. I asked why we weren’t considered, and she said, "Who’s your agency?" I went back to the Zara story.
She said she had no idea. I asked if I could give her my credentials, and she said yes. I went back to the office and said we’d become irrelevant. We needed to show the world who we are and put forward our credentials. We set the credentials and a small boost on Instagram with flashbacks of our success stories, including Zara. I sent the credentials and thought, "Surrender. Whatever’s meant to be will be." At 11 o’clock that night, we were one of two agencies shortlisted. I thought, "Amazing, from not being considered to one of two."
I arranged a Zoom meeting with the decision-maker in New York and had their favorite coffee delivered. We connected, and I got the job. The universe drops opportunities if you’re in alignment with who you are.
Kristina: I love that. So amazing. We can go on and on, but I’ll have you back when we launch our journal together. I want to talk about the coffee dates because you’re well-known for that.
I’ve done something similar, having coffees all the time. I had no network in Australia when I started my business. I didn’t know anything about business, retail, or much else. I had lots of coffees, asking questions and giving back as I gained knowledge. I love for you to talk about your famous coffee dates and how to do them.
Tory: When I was 24, I was given the advice that lunch was too expensive. Coffee dating became my marketing spend. It was less than $10. I spent $30 a week on marketing to build a global business. The framework is on my website, where you can download the coffee challenge.
Every week since I was 24, I’ve committed to three coffee dates a week: one with someone I know, one with someone I want to partner with, and one with someone outside my comfort zone. I’ve had an insane network of referrals by investing my time and energy in connecting with like-minded others and asking how I can help them. If it’s a good coffee date, they ask how they can help you, which is why you and I have such synchronicity.
You can’t build a network or a business if you’re a taker. You have to be a giver. It’s a mutual exchange of energy. Don’t just have a coffee date and forget who they are. Reconnect with them. I had a coffee date yesterday with the marketing director of Sukin, now with another beauty brand in Melbourne. We reminisced about our last coffee date and walked away with a game plan to help each other’s businesses.
You’ve connected with someone for a reason and purpose. Never forget your why.
Kristina: I love that. We should do a coffee date challenge journal. It’s amazing to keep track of connections. I connect with so many people when I travel. It leads to amazing opportunities.
Sometimes it’s hard to remember who’s who, especially if it’s been a long time. Maybe we need to talk about that offline.
Tory: We definitely can. It’s good to keep notes. If you promise to follow up, make a note to action it. If you don’t action it, it doesn’t become reality. Many people come up with amazing ideas on coffee dates and forget about them.
If you have time to invest in mutual exchange, you should have time to build forward momentum. You’ll also know if the energy and high vibration are right. If you can create magic together, great. If not, it’s okay to walk away and say thank you.
Kristina: Absolutely. I love that. This has been so inspiring. I have at least 20 more questions, but we’ll cover that next time. I want to shift a bit and ask, do you have a morning ritual?
Tory: I do. I’ve been doing it for almost 15 years, taught by a Buddhist monk in Thailand at Shiva Som. He told me to slow my mind to hear the secret whispers of life.
He was right. It includes lavender oil in the shower. I travel with it. Three drops on my décolletage, close my eyes, anchor to Mother Earth, inhale deeply three times, and listen to the sequences of what I’m meant to do.
My mind is now wired to what I’m meant to do each day in terms of connection, output, and self-care. Despite my near-death experience, I’m in good health because that’s my investment. I slow down in the morning. In the evening, I complete the ritual with gratitude. What are three things I’m grateful for? When we met in Melbourne, that was one of my gratitude things.
I always wanted to meet you. When we had the coffee date in Sydney, I was grateful. Now we’re collaborating on the podcast, and that will be my gratitude tonight. Gratitude breeds gratitude, and happiness breeds happiness. If you don’t take a moment to see how magical and wonderful the connections are, you can never live your dream life or take powerful steps forward.
That’s my ritual, and it has been for 15 years. There are no excuses because a little bottle of lavender can be taken anywhere. It shifts your energy into forward momentum, attracting higher vibrational people and opportunities.
Kristina: I love that. Thank you for sharing. Our listeners love hearing about morning rituals. This one is easy. Most people have showers, so it’s just a couple of extra steps.
Tory: We would hope. The only time you wouldn’t do it is if you’re having a little bit of fun with your partner in the shower. That’s the only time it would go off piste, but you can still do it afterward and be grateful for that experience.
Kristina: So funny. I love to ask, do you have a favorite book or a book that had a big impact on your life?
Tory: I love this question. I have two. One involves manifestation, and the other involves when I walked into a bookshop in Chelsea, New York, many years ago with a friend. It’s 'How to Love.' I’ve had this book for probably 20 years. It’s crazy. I still have the paper receipt from when I bought it. When I got the book out today, I wanted to share this with your audience. It’s the practice of Metta.
Two sentences: "To love is first of all to accept ourselves as we actually are. The first practice of love is to know oneself." It’s powerful. This book is a little pocket rocket of information. If you’re feeling out of whack or alignment, flick it and land somewhere.
The second one is Rosie Batty’s book, 'A Mother’s Story.' I was going through a hard time in the family law courts and saw her book at the airport. It’s about heartache, grief, passion, and purpose. It’s a story of how she lost her son. A lot resonated with what I was going through.
It empowered me to get rid of my lawyer and win full custody myself through self-representation and a restraining order. That happened in 2017. It changed my life. One book can change your life. It’s okay if people say no. It’s about the timing of the universe.
Recently, I had a lady join my business attraction program. At the end, she asked how she could change my life. I said she went with Rosie Batty to Canberra. I asked if she could share my story with Rosie.
She did, and Rosie said yes to an event together. Now, we’re doing an event, and I get to thank her in person. So, two books: 'How to Love' and 'A Mother’s Story.'
Kristina: I love that. I haven’t read her book, so I’ll add it to my list. This has been amazing.
One more question: Knowing what you know now, what advice would you give to your late teens or early twenties self?
Tory: Your intuition and self-belief are your greatest power, and you don’t have to pay for it. Many people are struggling financially. If you look within yourself, you have all the resources to step up and claim your crown.
Self-belief is your superpower. When you ignore your intuition, it can take you down a path of hard lessons. But those lessons get you to the next level in life. Look at that lesson with grace and gratitude because you wouldn’t be who you are today without it.
Kristina: Wow, that was the most amazing way to finish this podcast. We could speak forever, so I’ll have you back. Super excited about all we’re going to do together.
Thank you for taking the time to come on the podcast and for all the amazing things you’re doing in the world.
Thank you so much.
Tory: Thank you, Kristina. It’s a dream come true. You were on my manifestation board many years ago when Jurlique was my account. Sam, who we both know, said he would introduce us one day. It came through a different door. I’m grateful for putting it out to the universe that you would cross my path.
I’m excited about what we can create for our communities. Thank you for having me.
Kristina: Thank you, that was amazing. You are a superstar.
